~  “I’ve got to get back to the mall”!
when i left ~ i’m quite sure? ~ it was day light.
now, this long red blur of taillights
and these, white, blinding ~ racing, 
so close by my walking;
my steps so unsure ~ sure i’m to fall.


~  why? ~ i wandered out back of the mall?
the cold air hit me;   
so many colored lights assaulted me,
their confusion, all talking at once,
made me hungry, lightheaded;
i went to get a pretzel, “please ~  
with extra cream cheese”;              
still chewing a salty memory? ~ must be, 
my mouth is so dry; 
i forgot to get a drink, how could i? 
i seem to remember
the nice girl offered “juice or bottled water”~ “sir ?”  


~  “i’ve got to get back to the mall”!!
why? ~ every distraction gets my full attention?
can’t seem to remember which way
i turned ~ got turned around and around;
i thought a back door i’d found;
i knocked, it was padlocked. 
i saw the dog growling;  
i stumbled ~ face to the ground.
i can’t make any sense ~ they all flash away,
these thousand snapshots ~ dart my eyes, all lies.
now this guy’s, laughing away my pleas;
tells me its 20 miles ~ “that way”


~  “i’ve got to get back to the mall”!!!
my grandson!

descript’ at its base –where i think to retain, 
so as not to pre-explain - yet insight 
its difficult birth to pen i scribbled this in one 
of my ‘nite sweats’ –[a thought to name]- a fear-full 
sighting of self –(what i’m to be, as this fucking 
nerve disease erodes all wiring & the timbers of 
which i was once built)-  it’s meant to be as 
raw & confused as ‘those feelings’ that scribbled 
it – but hope not incomprehensible… thus,  this ‘post 

~  “i’ve got to get back to the mall”!!!
my grandson! ~ i left, for just a moment, 
with George ~ the first president ~
the taller one ~ and his wife Barbra.
she was reading him a story, 
we were all having such a great time of it.
why did i walk off? 
i said i’d be right back ~ they smiled. 


~  “i’ve got to get back to the mall”?
but i keep falling away; 
seems just a day...  
or so;
i let the dog out ~ it was at least -10 below, 
i forgot her too. 
i said i’d be back in a minute or two...
in the morn, her drool had froze her.


~  “i’ve got to get back to the mall”!!!! 
i said i’d be back in a minute!
there; they‘re all waiting!
here; there’re no kind smiles… 
now, it’s 20 miles... 
	“i’m so cold”